Umbrella
by Known Unknowns
Summary: "Just stay. Please. I want you to stay."


_**Umbrella**_

_A/N: This is basically my hysterical fangirl response to Cote leaving. Just a heads up, I think it's corny as hell, but I needed this. I think some of the other Tiva shippers do, too._

_Disclaimer: If I owned NCIS, we wouldn't be here right now._

* * *

Tony waited outside of the hotel. It was late, so late that barely a single car passed by. He leaned against the concrete wall, sipping at his coffee as he listened to the rain beat against the awning he was taking shelter under. She would be coming out any minute now. He knew her. He knew that she would leave during the night, when she thought there would be no one to head her off, when she thought she could make it away unseen in the dead of the night.

He'd spent the entire evening at his apartment, trying to sleep, staring at the ceiling. Then, he finally came to his senses... he wasn't losing her this time.

He wasn't about to let her get away that easily. Not if he had any say in it. He tossed his coffee into the nearby trash can, shoving his hands in his pockets. He would wait out on the corner in the pouring rain until she came out. A part of him still couldn't believe that she was running away, giving up on everything and running away just like that. He wondered if the past few years meant anything to her at all. If maybe he had imagined what he saw in her eyes when they looked at each other. Maybe he imagined the electricity, the chemistry, the love. Maybe it was all just in his head.

He had to know. When she'd said that she wasn't coming back to NCIS, it had felt like his entire world had halted to a stop. After all of these years, she was going to leave without even giving them a reason? How could she do this? Their bond had been one forged in fire and in blood, and the two of them, along with McGee and Gibbs, wore scars that only the others could see, the people who had been there through it all.

Hunting Ari. Gibbs' retirement. Jeanne leaving. Jenny's death. Rivkin. Somalia. Paloma Reynosa and Alejandro Riviera. P2P. The bombing of NCIS. Jackie and Eli's death. Their temporary resignation from NCIS and Gibbs' super-top-secret assignment. They had been through all of it together. They had walked through miles of clouded hell, side by side, and the idea of her leaving just couldn't be processed in his mind.

Life without Ziva. It would render business as usual utterly meaningless. He didn't know how to survive without her. Call him co-dependent, but she was everything to him.

"Tony?" He turned at the sound of her voice. She stood there, at the entrance of the hotel, brow furrowed in confusion. In one hand she held a suitcase. In the other, she held a black umbrella. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to stop you," he managed, pursing his lips at the sight of her.

"Tony..." She shook her head. "My plane leaves in an hour."

"You don't have five minutes to spare?" He smiled sadly, stepping towards her, even though it took him out into the rain. He felt the cold water splashing down his face, and he shivered involuntarily. "Not even for me?"

She stared at him for a long moment. "Nothing you say will change my mind."

"Nothing, huh?" he asked quietly. "Nothing in the world?"

"No."

"Well. I guess I'll just be going home now, then." He then took another step towards her, giving her a smirk. "Come on, sweet cheeks. You can't get rid of me that easily. You should know better than that."

Ziva sighed heavily, her eyes darting away. "I'm not doing this to hurt you."

"I never said you were."

"Some things don't need to be said," she whispered, still looking at her feet.

"Hey," he said, chucking her under the chin. She looked back into his eyes. He gave her the bravest smile he could, hand sliding up to cup her cheek. "Here's looking at you, kid."

"Casablanca," she replied. "A great love story."

"One of the greatest," he agreed. "But for once, I'm not here to talk movies. I'm here to ask you... well... why?" He shrugged his shoulders, brushing his thumb across her brow. "Why are you leaving, Ziva?"

He was surprised when she leaned into his touch. "I can't tell you that. You would not understand."

"I haven't earned a little truth after all these years?" he asked, but he kept any accusation out of his voice. "We finally get offered our jobs back, and you choose now to leave?"

"My whole life has been on the battlefield, either here, or in Israel," she began. "I have been fighting every minute of everyday. I need to take some time, I need to find who I am, and I need to put down the sword, just this once."

"You're fighting for something good at NCIS. You know that," he told her, and with a flash of daring, he leaned his forehead against hers.

Silence, except for the sound of Ziva breathing and the relentless downpour of rain. Then, he felt her hands at his sides. "I'm broken," she said, voice subdued. "I need to fix myself."

"That's funny, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically. "You're the broken one, but I was always the one that needed saving."

"I recall you saving me a few times."

"I didn't mean saving like that, Ziva," he responded. "Before I met you... I was different. I think you changed me." He dragged in a breath. "I guess... loving you changed me."

She pulled back instantly, looking at him with complete shock flashing in her eyes. Thunder rumbled in the distance. "What did you just say?"

He grinned at her. Weird. That actually felt really,_ really_ good. It was like he had just breathed his first gasp of air after almost drowning. It was relief. It was sweet. "I love you. Come on, don't act like you didn't know."

Her mouth fell open. He let his grin fade, but he was still smiling as he brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "Tony... I don't know what you want me to say."

"You don't have to say anything," he told her honestly. "Just stay. Please. I want you to stay."

"I can't do that."

"Why? Why can't you just stay with me?" This wasn't making any sense. In movies, professions of love were supposed to be followed by the other person saying the same thing. Then, they would embrace, and the credits would roll as a sappy song played. "Why is it so hard for you to just..."

"To just love you?" she asked, and he saw that tears were beginning to form in her eyes. "That has never been the problem, Tony. It's not that I don't love you. It's that I do love you, and I find that absolutely terrifying. I always have." A tear escaped her eye at the admission. "But I can't love you like you deserve. I can't be who you deserve."

"Who gives a damn about what I deserve?" he asked, not liking the sound of the finality in her tone. "Ziva, I want to be with _you_, I've wanted to be with you for eight years. I went halfway across the world for you because I couldn't live without you. I don't know how to function without you."

"You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for," she said softly. "This isn't a permanent goodbye, Tony. I will be back. I promise you that... but I have to go. For me."

She had put him in a situation he never wanted to be in. She seemed to think that leaving, for whatever reason, would help her. Somewhere inside of him, he knew it would be selfish of him to beg for her to stay... but damn it, wasn't he entitled to a little selfishness?

"Please..."

"Will you promise me something?" she asked suddenly. "In exchange for my promise of returning?" He arched an eyebrow at her, imploring for her to go on. "Promise me that you'll be here when I get back. Promise me that you will still be my friend."

"Ziva." He put his hands on both sides of her face. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I will _always_ be your friend. Your best friend, if you'll let me be."

She smiled up at him, a bright, brilliant smile. He couldn't give her much, but at least he could give her his word. They looked into each other's eyes for a long time, hazel boring into dark brown, until Ziva's hand came up to rest behind his neck. "I have to go, Tony." She stepped away, but when she went to move past him, he hooked an arm around her waist and dragged her into him, so their chests were touching. Before she had a chance to speak, his lips collided with hers.

It was blissful. It was perfect. It was everything he'd ever wanted, even if it was so terribly bittersweet. He tried to communicate everything to her that he couldn't say with words with his lips, trying to show her how much he needed her, how much this hurt him, and how completely and utterly in love with her he was. Finally, after what might have been seconds or maybe years, they broke apart.

He opened his eyes to look at her, but the next thing he knew, there was a light pressure on his hand, footsteps behind him, and she was gone. He turned just in time to see her disappear into the waiting door of a taxi cab. The windows were tinted, so he couldn't see her as the vehicle departed. That didn't stop him from watching as it drove into the distance. He watched until the darkness swallowed the yellow speck.

He realized that she had left him with her umbrella, sheltering him from the rain.

* * *

_A/N: Yes, I made it kind of ambiguous as to why she's leaving, and yes, those references to emotionally overwrought pop songs are intentional. I listen to the radio too much. Oh, and yes, I do love reviews. :)_


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